Observations and Reflections on the Eve of My 39th Birthday…

Observations and Reflections on the Eve of My 39th Birthday…

I wrote this on my 38th birthday, but I didn’t have a blog back then and these things still apply. I am not above recycling. Not one bit.

Cheers To Getting Older!

I have a thick, skunk-like band of gray straight through the middle of my head and no matter how I fix my hair, or what products I slather on, those suckers rise right to the top – short, coarse, and curly. I pretty much have gray pubes poking out of my head, defiant and obnoxious.

My left leg has a gnarly, knobby varicose vein bundle the size of a plum.

Yeah, it’s awesome…

I’m growing random black hairs in weird places – especially on my chin. At first, I called them ‘witch hairs’. Now, I’m dreadfully close to ‘werewolf’ status and just a few hairs shy of buying a nose hair trimmer. (Update: after reading this a friend bought me a nose hair trimmer, half in jest. You bet your ass I use it)

Just the other day, I pointed to an object across the room and asked my boyfriend, “What’s that?” To which he replied, “Ummm… the roll of paper towels?” Good grief. It really was.

My hangovers take me down for days at a time. I wish I could say they are due to epic, wreckless parties in which I attempt my best rendition of Coyote Ugly on the bartop, but that would just be blatant a lie. It’s more like an extra couple glasses of wine while doing house work. ‘Oops, I still have to unload the dishwasher. I’ll have just one more while I do that.’ Big mistake. 

My previously cute dimple lines are becoming massive crevasses. Yuge.

I can’t put on socks without sitting down. Those ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up’ commercials are becoming more and more relevant.

Gravity is certainly taking its toll. Gone are the days of frilly little bras. Over the shoulder boulder holder is goddamn right.

And on top of all this I realize, with each year that passes, I know far less than I did the year before. Fortunately, as little as I do know, I have learned some important…

‘Should-be-common-sense-but-sadly-aren’t’ morsels:


That’s all. Just love. It’s the only thing really worth a damn in this crazy life. Nurture it, respect it, appreciate it. Love makes us better, makes us strive to be more than we already are. It’s awesome.

People suck.

They’re petty and jealous and insecure. Don’t let them break you down. Be better. Do better. Feel sorry for those sad sacks of s@*#.

Friends will come and go.

The ones who want to stick around will put in the effort, and we must reciprocate if we want to keep them around, as all relationships take work.

Friendships take work the messy badass Ashley Allyn

Chivalry, kindness, and even common courtesy are becoming rare and antiquated.

Keep that s@*# alive. Be grateful when someone does something for you. We don’t need to lose these awesome people to the dark side. There are plenty of jackasses out there already.

We don’t say ‘I love you’ or tell people how we feel nearly enough.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Say it now – today – before it’s too late.

Be the kind of person who wants to see those around you succeed.

It’s so much easier and feels so much better than the alternative. (I.E. douchebag)

Recognizing we can’t control the actions of others and only our own responses to these actions is a monumental, life-changing event.

That stuff is like Namaste to the nth degree.

Always hold yourself accountable for being an a#*hole.

We have a terrible way of justifying bad behavior, then the next thing you know you’ve let yourself slip and are an inexcusable a#*hole all of the time.

Take care of yourself, love yourself, and spoil yourself if need be.

We can’t be there for anyone else if we don’t take care of ourselves first.

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine knew exactly what they were talking about.

Humor and laughter are the bees knees. A good gut-busting laugh with someone you care about can keep you from toppling over the edge of insanity.

And, as much as the outside fades, or droops, or wrinkles, the inside has the ability to bloom and flourish and become more beautiful than ever.

Every day, every hour, every moment holds room for growth. That’s what really matters.

Happy Holidays, ya’ll!

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observations and reflections on the eve of my 39th birthday the messy badass ashley allyn
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